Weddings 101, The Culture Of Greed - GangStarr Girl : GangStarr Girl

Weddings 101, The Culture Of Greed

[ 5 ] October 17, 2011 |

I’ve never been that girl who was planning her wedding since she was five. I was perfectly ok with whatever direction my life took romantically, whether I was married or not, but then I met the love of my life. Once we figured out that we’d like to get married we talked about the possibilities of eloping or doing a City Hall quickie yet this was still theoretical.

He proposed on August 26 and now that the idea of getting married is real, everything has changed. We’ve opted against City Hall and have decided to do something small that we can afford so that we’re not starting a new life in ridiculous debt.

However, no one else in the world seems to have gotten that memo. When people hear the word “wedding” they also hear “money.” Even when you repeatedly emphasize the words “small” and “budget,” the words coming out of your mouth get drowned out by “kaching,” and vendors immediately triple the price of everything, which makes me want to rip my locs out.

While scouting for locations we visited a loft space that proposed $2,000 for five hours (just for the space) but when my planner asked how much the space would cost for a photoshoot she was told $450 for a full day. What. The. Hell. I’m also discovering that wedding photographers typically start at $3,000 and can go upward to 10 Gs or more. That’s more than an actual magazine fashion shoot! In general, wedding vendors are the worst but it’s everyone’s fault. People are foolish when it comes to weddings. They’ll spend absurdly far beyond their means for “the big day,” which has lead to this culture of greed and vapid ostentatiousness.

I’ve seen and been a part of weddings that resulted in maxed out credit cards, prevented several people from paying basic bills or put folks in serious debt that in some cases, lasted longer than the marriage and that won’t be me!

We’ve managed to find a really nice venue that makes sense for us, we got the cake figured out, we’re still working on the caterer, we have some dope friends who are going to hook us up with some services like DJ, videographer, etc and so far we’re in a good place.

Hubby to be and I have decided that our wedding will be romantic and us, not cliché and full of over-the-top conventions that were programmed by society. It is, after all, one day in what will hopefully be the rest of our lives.

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Category: Reflections

About the Author ()

Starrene Rhett Rocque is a recovering journalist who often fantasizes about becoming a shotgun-toting B-movie heroine.

Comments (5)

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  1. Toi says:

    Congrats on your engagement! It’s cool that you’re planning a wedding on your own terms and not that of the cash cow wedding industry. Best of luck to you!

  2. Mommy says:

    I am blessed to have raised such a pragmatic, sensible child!

  3. Anonymous says:

    Congrats again on the engagement. Some people get so wrapped up in the “big day” and sacrifice intimacy and a reasonable budget. My cousin and her hubby spent $11k on their wedding, but didn’t even have a home of their own (they moved in with her mother after the honeymoon was over). Their need to show off surpassed practicality. Glad you’re doing what works for you because the wedding day game is one of the biggest swindles out there! 

  4. I’m still stuck on the price quoting for the loft space. They ought to be ashamed big time!!! 

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