How To Deal With Effed Up Individuals - GangStarr Girl : GangStarr Girl

How To Deal With Effed Up Individuals

[ 8 ] August 20, 2010 |

Everyone has encountered someone who gets off on drama and likes to hurt people. These types of manipulative beings do whatever it takes to create strife whether they’re in the center of it or it started between other folks because of their manipulation and sometimes lies. Either way, you can bet that they are always the root of the problem. I’ve been dealing with these types of people all my life. But it wasn’t until a few years ago that I got an official diagnosis of what these people are called and it made perfect sense. According to Julia Cameron author of a very inspirational book, The Artist’s Way, these types of people are called crazymakers.

A couple of days ago, I had an unexpected brush with a crazymaker who I stopped talking to because of that reason. This person had been trying to get my attention for months to no avail (sending fraudulent email threats–that I was smart enough to trace with all the handy software that exists today–telling lies about me behind my back–the works) and decided to do something really foul that they thought would work (ie, defame my character). It didn’t. Why? Because I’ve been hip to game and didn’t give them the irate response that they’re used to. That person had the nerve to apologize later and brush it off to, “You know I just talk sometimes.” I didn’t respond because that’s how they reel you in–disingenuous remorse. I won’t go into it anymore because crazymakers don’t need to be entertained. They like to hurt and then thrive off the resulting negativity (ie curse outs, fights, etc, like I said). However, this person inspired me post this because I want more people to recognize what crazymakers like to do so that they can combat it better. Sadly, crazymakers can even be your relatives in some cases. But without further adieu, the following excerpt was taken from ThinkBlackBelt.com (because she was cool enough to write it all out so well, and even relate her own stories):

Crazymakers, as detailed in Julia Cameron’s Book:

1)  Their time, schedules, energy, drama, and life issues always outweigh yours

“Crazymakers thrive on drama, and melodrama requires a sense of impending doom. Everything is an emergency, a deadline, a matter of life and death, or something they will get to eventually. Read ‘never’ … Nearly any situation can be cast as melodrama to support a crazymaker’s plot lines …”
2)  They expect special treatment
As the book authors write,

“They suffer a colorful variety of ailments that require your care whenever you have an important deadline or anything that deflects your attention from their demands.”

They also demand special treatment in their daily lives:

* Do you know that man or woman who loves to insist the doctor or chiropractor in the house stop what they are doing and treat them right now?
* Ever met someone who grandiosely insists the dining party sit a certain place in a restaurant?
* Have you watched someone work a situation so they always come across as the Alpha wolf, whether they deserve the leadership position or not?

3 ) They belittle and downplay your needs, emergencies, and requests
Despite howling over a broken nail, a crazymaker will say your requests for their time or help are just so much drama — a way for you to get attention. They might also add, that you are disrespectfully expecting too much of their good will or prevailing too much on their valuable time.

“Crazymakers discount your reality. Your pressing agendas – however real – are never as real, as important, as critical as a crazymaker’s drama of the moment.”

4) They triangulate to stay in power

The blogger added this story: One Dark Hart I know compartmentalizes all information so much one staff member doesn’t know what the other is doing, so no real coordination can occur. Of course coordination like that would mean some power slips into the hands of the staff, and a narcissist can’t handle that.

Crazymakers also elevate gossip to an art form of power and control. (But be wary of accusing them of it, or they will say they are only trying to help others and how could you be so cruel to think otherwise?)

“They are experts at gossip, at feeding paranoia, at driving wedges between working colleagues.”

One Dark Heart made sure I knew who the sole dissenting voter was in a secret meeting involving a decision about me. Despite saying that he wanted teamwork among his staff, he tried to subtlety create rivalry instead.

5)  They sow the wind, while others reap the whirlwind
Added by the blogger: When I think of the term crazymaker, I see Taz, the cartoon Tasmanian Devil, stirring up the world with his manic spins. Dark Hearts adore making much ado about nothing. As the authors put it:

* “A crazymaker is someone who makes you crazy by constantly stirring up storms.”
* “‘Normal’ doesn’t serve their need for power.”
* “Everything is always their problem, but nothing is their fault.”

We’ve all been there. Hopefully you can identify who that is for you and get away from them. They’re emotionally draining, abusive and just not good for your well-being. Take care of yourself.

Category: Health/Fitness, Misc, Reflections

About the Author ()

Starrene Rhett Rocque is a recovering journalist who often fantasizes about becoming a shotgun-toting B-movie heroine.
  • Redhead

    Is this person someone I know? Because if it is who it reminds me of, hahaha

  • http://google.com/profiles/p0ps p0ps

    The crazymakers may suffer from a serious mental illness, which could be diagnosed a couple of different ways, depending on how it manifests, including Borderline Personality Disorder or Shizophrenia. Both are complex illnesses that with a lot of desire respond to treatment. Fountain House on W47th has many members managing their illness and having better lives. The crazymaker themselves, in the long-run, don’t want to be causing trouble, but don’t know how to cope. It could be better for them and everyone, if they understood that chronic illness is influencing their behavior and the illness can be managed. They can feel better, be productive, have fun.

  • http://www.gangstarrgirl.com Gangstarr Girl

    I agree, P0ps. I definitely think a lot of these people have mental illnesses. Sadly, we are still in a society that brushes this off, not realizing the deeper issues that are the root of the problem. smh

    However, it’s sad that some crazymakers refuse to seek treatment, knowing how their behavior affects people. Those are the ones you have to look out for!

  • http://dontloseyourdayjob.com Clark Kent

    You should tell that crazymaker that you have a problem-solver… and her name is Revolver.

  • Dr. DR

    I was thinking somewhat along the lines of p0ps- Borderline Personality Disorder, though not so much schizophrenia. Sounds very much like various personality disorders. You handled your crazymaker in the right way because their goal (conscious or not) is to drag you into their dysfunctional relational style. My advice- step away from the crazymakers!

  • Miss Jane

    Ok who do I need to cut! LOL… tellin’ lies about my Starreney and doing all that craziness???

    A WHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I don’t get it. I’m glad my spirit really rejects folk like that… Girl we HAVE to catch up. Why would someone want to do that to YOU of all people!??? Love ya besti!

  • Pingback: Gangstarr Girl » Blog Archive » Khia Is A Hatin @$$ Hater (Hate Crush Intervention)()

  • Lori

    I can’t believe there is a name for people like this. I have several that I got away from for each and every thing on here. Thank you for writing this .